So You Are Compelled to Love (But Don’t Know How to Do It)

Our diocesan vision statement, “Called to Life and Compelled to Love,” points us to an always beautiful but often fraught path of walking alongside God in His hope for the world, Jesus in His embodiment of this reality, and the Spirit in Her guidance for action. All this is a bit abstract, though, isn’t it? So, I wanted to offer a humble list of the practical, actionable ways that I’ve been compelled to love, and you might be too. They’re simple things you can put into practice—but not always easy! Pick one, or two, and try to incorporate them into your daily life, trusting that they’ll bear fruit—though not always quickly! 

I’ve divided this into three sections. But you’ll find that they all feed into each other. The more you love others, the more you will love yourself and God; the more you love God, the more you will love others and yourself; and the more you love yourself, the more you will love God and others. Three for the price of one, as one might say. 

Love of Others 

Learn people’s names: the baristas at the coffee shop you go to on the weekends, those neighbours you keep seeing while you walk the dog, the cashier at your pharmacy, the bus driver who does your route every day. People will notice you’ve noticed them. 

Break bread: order a pizza, throw some store-bought dressing on some leafy greens, and invite some friends (or acquaintances that may become friends?) to share it with you. Hospitality doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate. 

Ask follow-up questions: cultivate a posture of curiosity rather than of assumption. What did they mean when they used that word that could mean a few different things? Why did they do the thing they just described doing? How did they come to the conclusion they just shared? All of these questions are just ways of getting to the bottom of how God made them. Which is, of course, fearfully and wonderfully. 

Love of God 

Listen to Him: read the Bible. I’m serious. Even if it’s just reading your favourite Psalm through once a day, something is better than nothing, and the Psalms are much better than just about anything. One of the most loving things you can do for anyone is listen to them, and it’s no exception with God. 

Do for the least: you know that parable. What we do for the least of us is what we do for God. Yes, this means for the economically marginalized, but it also means for that really awkward person at the party no one is talking to. 

Ask your priest to take your confession: did you know there’s a liturgy in the Book of Alternative Services for The Reconciliation of a Penitent? Did you know your priests love doing pastoral work that isn’t vestry meetings? We’re always fighting with God each in our particular ways. Go make up with Him.  

Love of Self 

Let yourself be silent and still: get acquainted with who you are in the absence of words and actions. Take just 5 minutes out of every day to settle into being the being that God made you to be. Set a timer on your phone, and truly, just sit there. No internet, no other people, no tasks. 

Notice joy: when do you most appreciate the gift of being alive? Is it when you are walking in nature? When you are wandering around a bustling city with a friend? When you are watching TV with your cat in your lap? Cultivate more of these moments. 

Know thyself: look clear-eyed at all the parts of yourself that you try not to notice. How you never quite know what to say to someone who’s suffering. The way you keep interrupting people in conversations. The mustard all over your face when you’re eating a sandwich. Know that God loves all of this about you.