Called to the Table, Indeed!

Over the last 25 years, I have been asked many times Why did you want to become a priest?”  All clergy can relate.  

We all got the question.  We learned to recite the short and the long answer over and over, yet despite the repetition, it remains humbling to publicly share even part of that very personal story. 

In my case, the call compelled me to drop everything and follow my deep instincts.  Never once did it occur to me that being a female priest would be a statement for equality. Rather, it was something I had to do in this life. 

I had worked in growing positions of management in public library systems since graduation.  I thought that being a priest of a church would be similar to being head of a branch library.  Indeed, there are many similarities. You manage staff and numerous volunteers. You keep the physical plant ship-shape and up to date. You manage the budget. You get to know your patrons/parishioners, and in general life moves on with a rhythm.   

All of the above was correct, yet the church was so much more.   Reflecting back, my library work, in part, moved me closer to the call.  Whenever I had a library patron who also fessed up to having faith and/or a church community for support, I was off to the races.  The search for information was not only to meet their current issue, but also to support them with information on prayer, healing, and love. 

At our family church of St. Matthew on-the-Plains, our rector was the Canon Carol Skidmore.  What a blessing she was! God spoke right through her – directly to me!  You know how that happens in sermons, when you feel that the words spoken are a direct hit.  I became more active in my church – Sunday school teacher, parish council, warden, programmer – you know the route.  

 Part of my call included a recurring dream of Jesus, rowing a boat across Lake Gennesaret while I was swimming behind.  Sometimes I wondered if I could keep up, but his eyes were on me constantly, and even when I was tired, somehow, he gave me the energy to keep going. It was always a long way, and I never reached the shore in my dream, but merely persevered on the journey with a constant focus on Jesus.  He would not let me falter. 

I couldn’t wait – I had to find out more about my faith.  My ravenous hunger would not be satisfied until I explored what could be my next step. I made an appointment to meet a professor at Wycliffe College where my rector and bishop had studied.  The appointment was exhilarating!  I found my way to the dear Wycliffe chapel with the beautiful stained-glass windows, and sat down to pray.  While I was praying, I had a vision and feeling of a light gossamer sheath falling over my head, surrounding me to the floor.  It was warm, encompassing, encouraging, and I felt so safe, as though I had come home.   

It was a surprise to many that at this time of my life, I would return to university, but my family was so supportive!    

I was fortunate to have super work experiences under the supervision of Keith Morrison at St. Paul’s in Caledonia (I’m still not convinced, Keith – did you really have a headache 15 minutes before a service so I would preach without prep? 😊), and also, with the then Canon Michael Bird at St. Luke’s Burlington.  From St. Luke’s I left for the first of my two ventures to Kenya – with $800.00 donated from the congregation for new Bibles at my destination.  Both positions were such affirming experiences in the world of ministry.  I listened and learned, worked hard, and loved every minute.   

Was it always easy?  Well, I was the first female to serve in one parish, and was approached by a gentleman right after the service.  He made it clear that he did not believe that women were meant to be priests in the church.  We met for coffee that week.  He was also first in the door on my last Sunday with a parting gift, saying he wished I could stay.  It was simply his first experience of a female priest! 

A quarter century later, I still look back so fondly at the many experiences shared with faithful congregations.  The rich relationships formed, the happy times of births, baptisms and marriages, the sad times of illnesses, deaths and funerals are all full of such holy ground.   What a tremendous privilege to do God’s work alongside God’s people. I was enriched by so many colleagues in our Diocese and grateful for inspired leadership from our Bishops.  

I’m still swimming, my focus is still on Jesus, and God willing, there is still more for me to do happily in the background of retirement.  Thanks be to God for this life!