Sometimes, as you get older, you find your role changes when it comes to your parents. I have heard people call it ‘switching’ roles, but for me, I can’t say that. My mom and dad were still able to give me advice. I could tell my dad what was happening in my house, and he would tell me what to do. With my mom, I could talk to her about my life, and she would confirm that I was going in the right direction or not. They were getting to a certain age and ability that I needed to step in a lot more this past year. It was a daily visit to help them with certain things they were no longer able to do and to take them to appointments. It was not a burden, not an obligation, maybe a responsibility, but why name it? It was something I just did. Maybe I can just call it love for two people who have taken care of me all of my life.
My parents taught me to be independent. Neither of them talked to others about their troubles, and in some ways, I am like them. I can be an open book about certain things, and then pretty closed with others. This past year, I was a bit of a closed book, somewhat quiet about what was truly happening with my folks. Many people knew my parents when they were younger, and I guess I didn’t want anyone to hear about how they were failing. When I think back to those many months, I know God was there, but I wasn’t letting him in. I didn’t give God a second thought. I am pretty sure he was knocking, but I wasn’t answering; I was focusing on what I needed to do. God didn’t stop there. He did something only God can do; he sent my friends.
Those friends were what got me through a very difficult year. I was surrounded by love from them, but none of them pushed me to talk. We met; we went for walks. I had dinner with some, poolside visits with others and even some unconditional ‘dog’ love. They are church goers and non-church folks.
It is now fall, and although I cannot remember how it happened, I realized that I had forgotten God in all of this. It hit me pretty hard. I thought back to the prayers I would say before the breakfast program where I volunteer. I asked that those who walked the streets would be aware that they never walked alone and that God was always with them. Here I am asking this for them and not paying attention to God in my life.
The rest of the year wasn’t any easier, but I started to tear down the wall around me and let God in some more. Now I hear God when he says, “Are you there? It’s God.” I have to remember not to get too wrapped up in my life and forget about God. I need to take time daily to reach out to God, and although it won’t relieve me of those difficult things that life throws at us, it does make it easier.
The new year gave me an opportunity to go on a week’s vacation to Iceland. The rawness of this place and all of the beauty surrounding me. Waterfalls, glaciers, mountains, volcanoes and just nature at its best. In this peacefulness and quiet, just the sounds of nature allowed me to leave reality behind for a few days and show me God in a new light. With all of my memories and many, many pictures, I am home. Yes, back to reality, but I remembered to bring God back home with me.
Ministry Outside the Box