Welcoming the Stranger: Lessons in Hospitality from Monastic Life

For the last two years, I have spent a week each February staying as a guest at Glenstal Abbey in Ireland. The Benedictine monks who live there follow the Rule of St. Benedict, an ancient way of life based on the organization of the monastic day into regular periods of communal and private prayer, sleep, spiritual reading, and manual labour.

While monastic life is most often associated with quietness, there is much more to the monastic life than silence. There is not only much to gain from spending time living in such a lifestyle, but there is a great deal we can learn to apply in everyday life at home.

At the core of Benedictine life is hospitality and the foundation of Benedictine spirituality. St. Benedict insisted that hospitality be one of the highest values for monasteries, writing: “Let all guests who arrive be received as Christ.” Whether they are familiar or strangers, Benedict is clear that all be shown the “courtesy of love”. The rules of St. Benedict offer clear guidance on hospitality: extending it with prayer, humility, genuine kindness, and selfless service to all regardless of their faith belief or culture.

In our communities and neighbourhoods, the “guest” may be a stranger, a friend in the making, those in our community who are marginalized, or our closest friends and family. Whomever it may be, the lesson we can learn from St. Benedict is that hospitality includes being truly present to others, becoming aware of their needs and challenges, and respectfully responding to them as much as one is able. For those closest to us, we must welcome each other over and again, forgiving each other as we grow together or apart, giving each other grace and space as we become closer in our relationship with God.

At the core of Benedictine life is routine. It is a day scheduled around prayer and time in quiet. Both of which are increasingly important in our daily lives. Starting and ending our day in prayer provides us an opportunity to pause from the busyness of life to give thanks to our God for all that we have received from Him and to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit in the quietness.

As a guest staying there, we are invited to follow their day of prayer. We attend the daily office with the monks five times each day. The calming sounds of the monks chanting in the quietness of the church provides a sense of calm that are difficult to express in words.

The quietness of the Abbey throughout the day provides the opportunity for guests, like me, to spend time in private prayer, rest, and reading. Many who stay here spend some of their time outdoors, walking the Abbey’s expansive grounds.

For many, one of the highlights of spending time at Glenstal is the sense of community that quickly develops between the guests staying there. Over breakfast during the morning, sitting with a cup of tea together throughout the day, or by the fireplace in the evening, guests spend time getting to know each other and learning from each other’s stories of lived experience. It is a powerful example that we can model within our own communities. However, to do so requires us to allow people to feel welcome for who they are and where they are in the journey of life; without placing judgment or belief upon them.

Leaving Glenstal Abbey after one week spent there, I come away not only refreshed and renewed but also energized in my ministry as a deacon to share the lessons I have learned from St. Benedict with others. Most importantly, it is asking ourselves how we can help and serve our neighbours, especially those who are living on the edges of our society, poor, lonely, sick and struggling.

It is through this gift of self-love that we will find true happiness. Happiness is not based on “stuff”, but rather on extending a helping hand to others. In a society that emphasizes success and wealth, the monks of Glenstal Abbey are a visible example of what it means to live fully in the service of God each day. Through their ministry as Benedictine monks, we can learn to evaluate our own lives to determine what gives us our meaning and purpose. Ask yourself each day, “Is what I am doing today something that benefits and helps others or does it only further or own interests and self-gain?”

In our own communities and neighbourhoods, the “guest” may be a stranger, a friend in the making, those in our community who are marginalized, or our closest friends and family.

Whomever it may be the lesson we can learn from St. Benedict is that hospitality includes being truly present to others, becoming aware of their needs and challenges, and respectfully responding to them as much as one is able. For those closest to us, we must welcome each other over and again, forgiving each other as we grow together or apart, giving each other grace and space as we become closer in our relationship with God.

Perhaps, using St. Benedict as an example, we can strive to live our life more in balance, devoting time each day to work, study, and prayer. Like the monks of Glenstal Abbey, we can use it as opportunity to provide the same “courtesy of love” to others, especially to those living on the margins of our society, striving to share more love towards others in our day.